Proverbs 31:10:12

Picking up where we left off yesterday after the introduction to Proverbs we start looking at verses 10-12.
"A wife of noble character,
who can find?
She is worth far more than rubies.
Her husband has full confidence in her
and lacks nothing of value.
She brings him good, not harm,
all the days of her life"
These verses deal with the "Excellent Wife" and her relationship in marriage. This is her character as a wife. King Lemuel's mother begins to highlight to her son the character an excellent wife possesses. She first describes her as "noble" in the NIV . In in NAS she is described as "excellent". In the original Hebrew text Chayil , it means "might, strength, power. " The main meaning of this noun which occurs 244 times in the Heb. O.T. is "strength", "army" and "wealth" The same meaning is denoted for the entourage of the Queen of Sheba in 1 Kings 10:2 and II Chr. 9:1. (The key word Study Bible Lexical Aid to the O.T.)
This "excellent wife" has strength not only physically but also morally and spiritually. She is a substantial force and that is why she is prized. She has physical strength, that is how she is able to do all she does. We will see that as we move further down the text. She also has moral substance and that is why her husband has "full confidence" in her. He can trust her with all the matters of home life. It says that he "lacks nothing of value". Implied here is that all his possessions he securely entrust to her care. No separate bank accounts. No "this is mine and this is yours". He trusts her with all he has and therefore he can concentrate and put all his efforts on providing for her and his family. She is not a distraction in his mind while he is at work. In Proverbs 12:4 we saw that and excellent wife is her husband's crown. His thoughts rest in her care of what is precious to him. She is trustworthy and a good caretaker of what he brings home and therefore there is a great intimacy in their marriage.
This assumes that the woman is in charge of all domestic matters. Even finances! It is the same meaning as in 1 Timothy 5:14 "that the woman is to be the ruler of the house" Part of that is that she is to manage her home. Now, some of us have husbands managing finances. If that is how he choses to run his home, that is fine. If he runs the finaces because we can't manage it, then we need to find ways to correct our way. If managing the homes finances is something helpful to him, we need to pray for self-control and discipline in doing that.

Notice also that NOT much emphasis is given to her beauty. To often today we put much value on the physical beauty. We can even give special attention to those who are more attractive than others. As a society we dismiss virtue, character and substitute those qualities for personality, looks or education. Here, King Lemuel's mother wants to begin by exalting what is of true value, true beauty in a wife. She describes her as more "precious than rubies" The word actually describes precious stones of any kind. Some translations use the word "pearls" The point being, this is a very valuable woman--not easy to find.

The last part of this section ends with "she does him good and not evil all the days of her life" v12. She has his best interest always in her heart. She builds him up. Edifies. Encourages. She is devoted to his well-being... "all the days of her life" includes bad times, good times, prosperous time and lean times. It also includes when he is sad, mad, happy, discouraged or anxious. Her love is never measured by the circumstances but it is constant, dependable and perseveres. Her love must be deep and grounded in God's love for her to love this way. Later we will see that.

It is important to make a little side note here. Because she loves him so completely and desires his highest good, she can humbly and respectfully confront his sin. She can lovingly restore him. She tenderly confronts...always submissively and never unkindly. That is part of wanting him to be the best he can be before God. That is what loving our husband is about. Loving at all times...when it is difficult to love. Loving is seeking their best interest. Loving is doing all we can to encourage him in his walk with God. Being an instrument in God's hand for his sanctification requires patience, tenderness, godliness and most of all prayer.

Doing good is ultimately what prayer contains and achieves. When we pray for our husband our hearts grow tender...we release anger, anxiety and God can clarify our misconceptions. Prayer seeks God's good for our husband. Prayer corrects our thinking and actions. Prayer that is purposeful and centered on the best for our husbands will achieve much.

So the questions to ask ourselves as we begin to see this woman of substance and excellence are:
What can we do for our husband so when they leave home they can leave fully trusting everything to us?
How spiritually strong are you? Morally strong? Physically strong? And then what can we do to grow in those strengths?
Last, how are we praying for them? Do we pray desiring their good at all times?

Tomorrow we will look at her character as a homemaker.
Let me know your thoughts.