Hi everyone! Glad to be back home. I am still processing so ,much of last week away...later I will share some of the great principles I learned. A friend sent these to me not to long ago...
Some of us have smaller children but many of us have children that are beginning the dating process or courtships. Here are some wonderful guidelines to begin to share and encourage them with. For those of you who are yourselves in this process, let me know your thoughts!
For girls...
1) A godly woman should allow the man to initiate the relationship. This does not mean that she does nothing. She helps! If she thinks there is a good possibility for a relationship, she puts him at east and encourages him as opportunities arise.
2) A godly woman should speak positively and respectfully about her boyfriend in his presence and absence.
3) A godly woman should give honest attention to his interests.
4) A godly woman should recognize the sexual temptations with which a single man will normally struggle and will avoid potentially compromising situations.
5) A godly woman will build up the man with God's Word and give encouragement to godly leadership. She should allow and seek biblical encouragement from the man she is dating.
6) A godly woman will make "helping" and "respecting" the watchwords of her behavior toward a man.
7). A godly woman will remember that the man is her brother in the Lord. She should not be afraid to end an unhealthy relationship but should seek to do so with charity and grace.
And for guys:
1) Commit to take the lead in the godliness of your relationship.
2) Decide before starting the relationship if you are willing to love a woman in the self-sacrificing, nurturing way the Bible describes.
3) Seek out her interests and spend time doing them with her.
4) Be willing to talk about the relationship. In fact, be the one to initiate honest dialog about it.
5) Pay attention to the cares and burdens of her heart. Be supportive rather than critical.
6) Do not be shy in ministering the Word to her. Do not preach, but exhort.
7) If something about her bothers you, seek to encourage her in that area.
Holding Hands, Holding Hearts, Phillips (P&R, 2006).
NAPLES GIRLS BOOK CLUB...
WE MEET TOMORROW TO DISCUSS CHAPTER 6-8!
ALSO A GREAT TREAT FOR OUR HUBBIES AND FAMILIES...WE WILL BE MAKING APPLE PIES WITH TERESA'S HELP. BRING ROLLING PIN, PIE PLATE, PASTRY CUTTER AND $5.
10:00-12:00. SEE YOU THEN!
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
Guides for our young adults
Friday, April 18, 2008
Friday Insights:
Here is another wonderful article from the Archives at Pulpit Magazine:
Have a wonderful weekend!
One dynamic of Children’s Ministries at Grace Community Church is that most of the children we minister to come from Christian families. Many of them are blessed with the sound and systematic teaching from God’s Word both at home and in the church, and even sometimes in school. This is something to be grateful for, but it also presents a unique challenge to those of us in Children’s Ministries. While the world breeds rebels, the church can unwittingly breed hypocrites.
It is the sad testimony of church history that the works and expressions of sacrificial love and devotion of one generation of Christians can quickly turn into legalistic rules and regulations for the next. The convictions of the first generation become the caprice of the second. It is sad and shameful how quickly the Object of wonder and worship of a generation can become the boredom and betrayal of the next. Hypocrisy is an imminent and evident threat to the church of Jesus Christ.
Churched children are seldom given to outright defiance of authority; they are much more susceptible to the poison of Pharisaism. Hypocrisy in the heart is much more difficult to spot than disobedient behavior. The Bible gives us some definite character traits of the pretentious pietist, and here is what they may look like in a child:
His outward behavior and adherence to rules are driven by a desire to please men, not by a love for God with all his heart, soul, mind and strength (Mk. 12:30).
Doing good works and having them observed by adults is more important than the action itself (Mt. 6:5).
The child is openly obedient and responsive – asking to pray before bedtime with you – while maintaining a quietly deceitful and rebellious attitude (Gal. 6:7).
He scrupulously observes the letter of the law – like religiously bringing his Bible to church – but neglects the weightier spirit of the law – like sharing his favorite toys with his siblings (Mt. 23:23).
He craves the verbal praises and tangible rewards of his parents and teachers, but cares little for the approbation of God Himself (Jn. 12:43). Left unchecked by the grace and Word of God, by the time such a child reaches his teenage years, hypocrisy can have entrenched itself.
This teen prefers well-defined, black and white rules, for they give him a sense of certainty that God must surely reward those achievements (Lk. 18:12).
He adds a layer of rules to the Word of God (like not watching any movies, not listening to popular music, et cetera), giving the impression that he holds to a higher standard than Holy Scripture (Mt. 23:4).
He tends to propose personal preferences as, or elevate them above, divine imperatives (Mt. 15:2-3).
He pursues perfectionism (Phil. 3:6), not excellence (Phil. 3:12-14).
He separates himself from others he considers of lesser cultural morality – people whose table manners, courtesy of speech, and refinement of mannerisms do not match middle-class norms (Lk. 15:1-2).
He is judgmental – he excels at fault-finding, he loves to pick verbal fights – and the standard by which he condemns others is not primarily biblical, but personal, preferential, or traditional (Mt. 7:5). He fights against many people, against many issues, but he does not know who he is fighting for.
Hypocrisy is the pretense of virtue or piousness that is contrary to one’s real character. And make no mistake, hypocrisy spreads like an unseen cancer. Everything appears alive and spiritually vital, then suddenly, the person is dull –and soon dead. The Lord specifically warned His disciples, “Beware of the leaven of the Pharisees, which is hypocrisy.” (Lk. 12:1) Since hypocrisy is hidden deep within the recesses of the heart, it goes on unchecked and will hollow out its victim from the inside.
One of the dangers is that these outwardly compliant children receive much approval from parents and teachers. So they are encouraged to continue the duplicity unless anti-hypocritical measures are employed. We can certainly teach and militate against hypocrisy in the following ways:
Instead of just dealing with external behavior issues, we should seize every opportunity to help children understand that it is their hearts that generate their actions (Mt. 15:19). In His judgment of man, God looks at the heart (1 Sam.16:7). We should never equate occasions of good behavior (professions of love for Jesus, acts of compliance, et cetera) with saving faith in Jesus. We need to go beyond fixing wrong behavior to helping the child understand that his evil heart can only be changed by the Lord in regeneration.
Emphasize the affections of NT religion. Make sure that we are not just aiming at a young person’s understanding, but that we reach for the heart and its affections.
Do not encourage children to exhibit their talents and gifts to impress others. They should be reminded that all that they are and have are gifts of grace from God (1 Cor. 4:7), and they should not regard themselves more highly than they ought (Rom. 12:3).
Teach the truth about integrity – which comes from the word for “integer” or “whole.” For a child with integrity, whichever way you turn them, they look they same. Who they are at church, is who they are in school, is who they are at home. This is what our kids should be.
Do not be afraid to share our spiritual and moral failures with children in instances where they can identify with our shortcomings. This allows us to be authentic with them. It also allows us to demonstrate our response to God when we have done wrong, and our reliance on Him to continue molding our hearts.
Be authentic in your love for Christ. Genuine desire for Christ is not easily faked. Let your zeal be a barometer by which they measure their own affection for Christ.
Hypocrisy is an insidious danger in Children’s Ministries today. It also threatens each individual home. As parents, it is our job to honor the intention of Psalm 78:4-6:
We will not conceal [the Word of God] from their children, But tell to the generations to come the praises of the LORD, and His strength and His wondrous works that He has done, that they should teach [the law] to their children, that the generation to come might know, even the children yet to be born, That they may arise and tell them to their children. emphasis mine
* Kurt serves as the Pastor of Children’s Ministries at Grace Church.
http://www.sfpulpit.com/2007/10/05/raising-pharisees/
Thursday, April 17, 2008
Parenting Proverbs
Today we had a great "Naples Girls Book Club" gathering. It was rich with God centered discussion and insight. We all thought this book "Praying Backwards" is one of the best we have ever read. If you have not purchased it yet, I highly recommend it for this Summer. Even though I have tried to highlight some of the passages here, it does not do the book justice.
For the next two weeks we will work through Chapters 6-8. However, I will be out of town next week, so there will be no postings. I will miss you all...this study and blog has been most enriching to my walk with the Lord. Thank you for questions, comments and encouragement. Please pray for me next week, as I will be in a "training time" for ministry next year.
For today...on the Pulpit blog were some insightful verses regarding parenting from Proverbs.
The book of Proverbs is a wonderful, intensely practical guide that contains much wisdom you can impart to your children as you train them in godly living. For your benefit, we’ve compiled ten lessons from Proverbs you should teach to your children. We’re convinced that, in the process of teaching those ten lessons, you’ll unearth many more principles from Proverbs that will serve your children well their entire lives.
Teach your children:
1. To have a healthy fear of God (1:7; 9:10; 10:27; 14:26-27; 15:16; 16:6; 19:23)
2. To guard their minds (4:23; 23:7)
3. To obey you (1:8; 4:1-4; 6:20-23; 30:17)
4. To carefully select their companions (1:11-18; 2:10-15; 13:20)
5. To control their sinful desires (2:16-19; 5:3-5; 6:23-33; 7:6-27)
6. To enjoy sexual fidelity (5:15-20)
7. To watch their words (4:24; 10:11, 19-21, 32; 12:18, 22; 15:1-2; 16:23; 20:15)
8. To pursue their work (6:6-11; 10:4-5; 22:29)
9. To manage their money (3:9-10; 11:24-26; 19:17; 22:9)
10. To love their neighbors (3:27-29; 25:21-22)
http://www.sfpulpit.com/
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
Praying Boldly...Chapter 5
Today much of society's advances come about through the old saying "it's not what you know but WHO you know." In job interviews, school placements, advancements even social acceptance it is often aided by who we know. Their position and reputation can get us access to events and even people.
When we pray boldly, we pray not in our own confidence and identity, but on Christ's. In the book "Praying Backwards" Mr. Chapell explains " Our identity as sinful creatures, alienated from the Father has forever been eclipsed by our union with the son He loves."
Ephesians 2:13-22
"But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far away have been brought near through the blood of Christ.
For he himself is our peace, who has made the two one and has destroyed the barrier, the dividing wall of hostility, by abolishing in his flesh the law with its commandments and regulations. His purpose was to create in himself one new man out of the two, thus making peace, and in this one body to reconcile both of them to God through the cross, by which he put to death their hostility. He came and preached peace to you who were far away and peace to those who were near. For through him we both have access to the Father by one Spirit.
Consequently, you are no longer foreigners and aliens, but fellow citizens with God's people and members of God's household, built on the foundation of the apostles and prophets, with Christ Jesus himself as the chief cornerstone. In him the whole building is joined together and rises to become a holy temple in the Lord. And in him you too are being built together to become a dwelling in which God lives by his Spirit."
"We are now "in Christ" at the same time that He is in us. Through this on-going union, Jesus provides His righteousness for our sin, His strength for our weakness and His relationship with the Fatter to replace our alienation."
So we now have the privileges that are Christ's as the Father's Son. With that privilege and honor comes freedom to enter God's Throne of Grace and speak to the One who rules sovereignly over all things. Mr. Chapell mentions "types" of prayers that can now distinguish us as Christians.
1) Imposing Prayer. Prayer that can come at all hours and at all times. Prayer that has absolute assurance of our Father's care and do not hesitate to ask with confidence that He hears.
2) Pervasive Prayer. Mr. Chapell puts it this way "Despite the Bible's assurance that God listens to us...we may still be hesitant to pray. We avoid prayers that seem to impose on God, either because we perceive Him as harsh or because we perceive Him as so good that it seems ungrateful to ask more. Jesus addresses both concerns. He teaches us to pray for matters large and small without fearing that our prayers will offend the Father." It is important to remember that God is more interested to hear from us than to grade our prayers. We can now pray concerning great matters or small matters.
He ends the chapter "The confidence that we express in such bold prayer is not in the answer we desire but in God. " Again we can boldly and confidently petition God to be God. We can't presume to direct God's thoughts or actions as a due response to our prayers. But we can confidently and boldly ask to reveal His power and perfect will to us. We pray for strength to persevere, to find joy, to exalt the cross and to rest that His divine plan will work out for our eternal good.
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
A new affection...
The Alliance of Confessing Evangelicals published this letter from Sinclair Ferguson. I thought his words and insights provide further direction and thought regarding praying for the Glory of God. He makes a wonderful point that the love of the world and the love of the Father can not dwell together. One will overide the other. Our first love, the world, can only be expelled by a new love and affection---for God and from God. That is so much of what we have been talking about....
Expelling Worldliness with a New Affection
By Sinclair Ferguson
Thomas Chalmers (1780-1847) was one of the most remarkable men of his time—a mathematician, evangelical theologian, economist, ecclesiastical, political, and social reformer all in one. His most famous sermon was published under the unlikely title: “The Expulsive Power of a New Affection.” In it he expounded an insight of permanent importance for Christian living: you cannot destroy love for the world merely by showing its emptiness. Even if we could do so, that would lead only to despair. The first world–centered love of our hearts can be expelled only by a new love and affection—for God and from God. The love of the world and the love of the Father cannot dwell together in the same heart. But the love of the world can be driven out only by the love of the Father. Hence Chalmers’ sermon title. True Christian living, holy and right living, requires a new affection for the Father as its dynamic. Such new affection is part of what William Cowper called “the blessedness I knew when first I saw the Lord”—a love for the holy that seems to deal our carnal affections a deadly blow at the beginning of the Christian life. Soon, however, we discover that for all that we have died to sin in Christ, sin has by no means died in us. Sometimes its continued influence surprises us, even appears to overwhelm us in one or other of its manifestations. We discover that our “new affections” for spiritual things must be renewed constantly throughout the whole of our pilgrimage. If we lose the first love we will find ourselves in serious spiritual peril.
Sometimes we make the mistake of substituting other things for it. Favorites here are activity and learning. We become active in the service of God ecclesiastically (we gain the positions once held by those we admired and we measure our spiritual growth in terms of position achieved); we become active evangelistically and in the process measure spiritual strength in terms of increasing influence; or we become active socially, in moral and political campaigning, and measure growth in terms of involvement. Alternatively, we recognize the intellectual fascination and challenge of the gospel and devote ourselves to understanding it, perhaps for its own sake, perhaps to communicate it to others. We measure our spiritual vitality in terms of understanding, or in terms of the influence it gives us over others. But no position, influence, or evolvement can expel love for the world from our hearts. Indeed, they may be expressions of that very love. Others of us make the mistake of substituting the rules of piety for loving affection for the Father: “Do not handle! Do not taste! Do not touch!” Such disciplines have an air of sanctity about them, but in fact they have no power to restrain the love of the world. The root of the matter is not on my table, or in my neighborhood, but in my heart. Worldliness has still not been expelled. It is all too possible, in these different ways, to have the form of genuine godliness (how subtle our hearts are!) without its power. Love for the world will not have been expunged, but merely diverted.
Only a new love is adequate to expel the old one. Only love for Christ, with all that it implies, can squeeze out the love of this world. Only those who long for Christ’s appearing will be delivered from Demas-like desertion caused by being in love with this world.
How can we recover the new affection for Christ and his kingdom that so powerfully impacted our life-long worldliness, and in which we crucified the flesh with its lusts? What was it that created that first love in any case? Do you remember? It was our discovery of Christ’s grace in the realization of our own sin. We are not naturally capable of loving God for himself, indeed we hate him. But in discovering this about ourselves, and in learning of the Lord’s supernatural love for us, love for the Father was born. Forgiven much, we loved much. We rejoiced in the hope of glory, in suffering, even in God himself. This new affection seemed first to overtake our worldliness, then to master it. Spiritual realities—Christ, grace, Scripture, prayer, fellowship, service, living for the glory of God—filled our vision and seemed so large, so desirable that other things by comparison seemed to shrink in size and become bland to the taste. The way in which we maintain “the expulsive power of a new affection” is the same as the way we first discovered it. Only when grace is still “amazing” to us does it retain its power in us. Only as we retain a sense of our own profound sinfulness can we retain a sense of the graciousness of grace. Many of us share Cowper’s sad questions: “Where is the blessedness I knew when first I saw the Lord? Where is the soul-refreshing view of Jesus and his word?” Let us remember the height from which we have fallen, repent and return to those first works. It would be sad if the deepest analysis of our Christianity was that it lacked a sense of sin and of grace. That would suggest that we knew little if the expulsive power of a new affection. But there is no right living that last without it.
To read further:
http://www.alliancenet.org/partner/Article_Display_Page/0,,PTID307086%7CCHID560462%7CCIID1947798,00.html
Monday, April 14, 2008
Changed by God's Spirit through Prayer
Finishing Chapter 4 in Bryan Chapell's book, we end this chapter with a confident look at God changing our affections when we pray in the power of the Holy Spirit. Before we can ever expect our lives to change and our desires for God's will to be supreme in our lives, I believe we must: 1) Know God's mind and character (that reveals what His will is for us in the sense that His will never contradicts His character and 2) as we know Him better we can discipline our minds to reject the allure of worldliness and seek the purity of fellowship with Him.
What I mean by the last statement is that we must value what is of God. I think why many wrestle so long with God's will is that we find it quite enjoyable and pleasurable to "have things go as we want and desire". There are many times when God's way just did not appeal to my flesh. To be honest, most of us see God's will as something we reluctantly go with thinking "it will work out and I will just suffer until it does" What a burdensome approach many of us take.
Mr. Chapell puts it this way:
"Many people pray ritualistically from release from destructive urges in the vain expectation that the LABOR will itself bribe God to unleash His power and eradicate sinful desire. Such persons discipline themselves to pray with the expectation that God will be moved to help them in response to the massive burden of prayer they have assumed to satisfy Him. They offer to God that which they don't want to do, to get what they want from Him. Yet when we pray in the Spirit, we are filled with wanting Christ. We delight to speak with the One whom we love, because we have no greater want than to discover His wants. The discipline of prayer may still challenge us, and our hearts may grow cold, BUT THE SPIRIT-FILLED HEART STILL YEARNS FOR NEARNESS TO GOD AND LONGS FOR PATHS BACK TO WARM FELLOWSHIP." (emphasis mine)
That's why I believe the more we know of Christ's character, His desires and His delights we will come to know the Father. "This is my beloved Son, in Whom I am well-pleased" Matt. 3:17. To know His beloved Son pleases God the Father. It also changes us from the inside out because the Holy Spirit gives testament to Christ. The Holy Spirit affirms our new affections towards the Son and all that He is. The Holy Spirit also empowers us with the strength to replace our desires with God the Father's desires. So praying does not become something we have to do, because we want to ask...but rather, it becomes a dialogue where we just want to know more about Him. We find joy in time spent with Him for the sheer pleasure of it.
I can remember when David and I where dating. I would love to go on long drives with him just to get to know him better. There was no other reason I wanted to be with him than just to be with him. That is how a love grew between us and then a commitment. Today, I love to do things that will bring joy to him...not because I have to as his wife, but because I delight to delight him. Is that the way we approach our relationship with God? Could that be something we change?
We pray desiring all that God wills for us but also knowing that we are His children. It is the relationship we have towards Him that brings us to Him. The Holy Spirit affirms our fellowship with the Father. We pray as cherished children...the beloved of God...the Bride of Christ.
Mr. Chapell finishes the chapter with : "The eternal God listens to mere mortals like us. He grants His Holy Spirit to conform our will to His and to transform our prayers into His purposes...We should not have to know the precise ways that God will answer our prayers to be eager to speak to the One who loves us so much--and sovereignly rules all things."
May our love for Christ grow more and more as we spend time with Him in prayer, Bible study and meditations of His marvelous character.
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TOMORROW CHAPTER 5 "PRAYING BOLDLY"
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Naples Girls:
Thursday Brunch
10-12p.m.
Thursday, April 10, 2008
Prayer that produces new affections
Today, I leave with my girls for a road trip to take a look at a University. We've decided to all go and make it a "mom and her girls" weekend...I am looking forward to spending some time with them and watching them encourage Kaity with her college choice. Because I will be away from a computer, there will be no posting tomorrow. But those of you reading the book, continue through Chapter 5.
We left yesterday looking at the role of the Holy Spirit in our prayer. He prays with fervor and intercedes for us in accordance to God's will. (Rom 8:26-27) Lastly, we saw that the world distracts and challenges our affection to pray as we ought to. But we have a great "comforter", "counselor" whose divine power stimulates a preeminent love for Jesus. Bryan Chapell brings us to a great passage in scripture on the love of God. As we meditate on these verses, I pray that a vibrant, ever-growing and satisfying love for God would grow in each of us. You may ask, how can my love for Christ grow? Let these thoughts settle in your heart...
"...I pray that out of His glorious riches He may strengthen you with power through His spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in you heart though faith. And I pray that you being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ..." Eph.3:14-19
When I think of this kind of love for me, I am overwhelmed.
How wide is His love? Wide enough to bring all kinds of people together...wide enough to cross racial barriers, prejudices. Wide enough to include the outcast...those that are far off. God's love is wide enough to bring back that wayward child, the spouse that has left.
How long is His love? Long enough to remember the forgotten ones. Long enough to last for eternity. Long enough to redeem a lost generation and long enough to carry us through suffering and then into glory. Long enough for you to be not forgotten. Long enough to bring you back to Him...no matter how far you've gone.
How deep is His love? Deep enough to forgive even the vilest of sinners. Deep enough to see our heart and replace it with a heart for Him. Deep enough to heal emotional wounds caused by broken relationships. Deep enough to get you out of the pit of depression. Deep enough to do heart surgery in an unsaved spouse...child. Deep enough to change lives and marriages from the inside out.
How high is His love? High enough to secure a future in eternity for us. High enough to lift you out of suffering. High enough to give us a high-view of Himself. High enough to give you a place to reign with Him. High enough that all His promises are "yes". High enough to lift you out of that abusive job...relationship. High enough that nothing shall separate you from His love...
"Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? shall tribulation or distress or persecution or famine or nakedness or peril or sword?...But in all things we overwhelmingly conquer through Him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life nor angels nor principalities nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth nor any other created thing shall be able to separate me from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord." Romans 8:35-39
Discovering a love like this transforms us because it creates a closer more mature relationship with God. These affections overwhelm us and drive us to prayer that is God-focused, Christ exalting and Holy Spirit empowered.
A love like this brings new meaning to life...it does not cancel the difficulties of life, but it provides direction, comfort and power to live Christ-like. Old pursuits can still beckon us but they don't satisfy as they once did. Our prayers reflect more of His character than ours.
Bryan Chapell writes: "A heart formerly cold towards God does not become warm toward His purposes by a mere act of willpower. While we can will a change in behavior, we do not by an act of will change our estimation of the attractive, appealing and lovely. I do not suddenly find fudge brownies unappealing simply because I learn of their calorie content. My willpower may stop my eating but it does not stop my wanting. But the Spirit can reconstruct the affections of our heart. This is a supernatural work, aided by our prayers but not accomplished by them apart from the Spirit"
As we meditate on Christ's love, our love for Him will grow and with the power of the Holy Spirit as the old hymn goes "the things of the earth will go strangely dim,"
Are you filled with a clear, wondrous view of Christ's love? Do you desire to know more and more of Him? The discipline of prayer may still be a challenge, but when you stop and sit at the Throne of Grace, you long for more time with Him. Prayer grows cold and ritualistic when we dim His glory...it grows fervent and satisfying when we see Him in His fullness. I pray that for all of us.
Wednesday, April 9, 2008
Prayer designed by the Spirit
Yesterday we looked at the Holy Spirit's fervor in praying on believers' behalf when we don't know how to pray.
"In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for , but the Spirit Himself intercedes for us with groans that words can not express. And He who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit; because the Spirit intercedes for the saints in accordance to God's will".
The word "weakness" does not necessarily refer to a certain weakness we may be experiencing, but the overall weakness of our humanness. We have a limited understanding and weak physical strength...just as the disciples when Jesus asked them to stay and pray the night He would be arrested, they fell asleep because of their physical weakness. Matt 26:36-43. But the Holy Spirit is not limited by anything...He knows the will of God because He is God...part of the Trinity.
Because of our imperfect perspectives, finite minds, human frailties we need the Holy Spirit who is continually praying on our behalf with God's perfect will as the end result. He molds the content of our prayers to fit the purposes of God.
As Mr. Chapell writes: "We know that God's will is to make us more Christlike (1 Thess 4:3) but apart from this goal we can rarely (if ever) know God's desires precisely. Were we with Joseph, we would have prayed for his rescue from his brothers plot to sell him into slavery...Were we at the cross, we would have cried for God to send His angels to the rescue. " When believers pray, we pray with confidence in the power of the Holy Spirit to mold our prayers in full accordance to God's will. We don't need to pretend that we have everything figured out. We have to acknowledge our dependency on the wisdom of God.
Yet, despite our limited vision, Spirit-filled prayer is a powerful force. Spirit-filled, God exalting prayer changes life. We stand amazed as we look back and we see the very hand of God upon us and praise His handy-work. Spirit-filled, God exalting prayer brings God into focus. Had it gone exactly as we had thought, we would take the credit and dim God's glory. Spirit-filled, God exalting prayer brings into our minds God Himself. We begin to see things with that eternal perspective.
Mr Chapell writes: "God knows that when our heart beats in rhythm with His, His greatest joys are ours. We are never richer than when we are emptied of earthly ambitions and fulfilled by Christ's desire. We are never more satisfied than when we are content with His plan for our lives. We know no greater peace than when we are confident His love hedges our lives so that nothing enters except that which makes us more like the Son whom the heavenly Father cherishes. In short when we have no greater desire than for Jesus to be glorified in us, He grants the desires of our heart."
The last thing the spirit does through prayers is change our affections. The world is constantly wooing us away from godly things. The world challenges our affection as tries to get us to exchange the eternal for the temporal. Even this morning as I was praying, I asked forgiveness for that. When anything displaces God's exalted view that becomes an idol. Idols are not those statues we think of when we study history. Even then, the idols represented a desire, emotion or human characteristic that was raised to a level of a god. A good barometer of how idols have crept into our days is to ask ourselves...did I have a quality prayer/study time with God yesterday? If not, then as we look at our day all those things that kept us away were idols. We thought them more valuable, than time with God. (Yikes...that stings!) Sleep, a tv show, phone conversation, laundry even time with the kids. Part of that is also our human weakness, we spoke of earlier.
Did you know that we can pray in the Holy Spirit, and can ask Him to increase our love for God and His ways? "Thus when we pray in the Spirit, we ask Him to stir-up within us such affection for God that the affections of the world lose their grasp on our heart."
The Holy Spirit is powerful and with His fervor, His intercession and His changing our affections, our prayers are not only God pleasing but fulfill God's greatest desire for us. And His greatest desire for us is to love Him with all our heart, mind and soul.
Do we need to ask the Holy Spirit to stir-up in us a greater affection for God? If we would ask for that, I believe, that would be the start of a changed and Spirit-filled life. More of Him and less of me!
Tomorrow a look at Eph 3:14-19. How can we gain a greater view of God? It is by seeing how "wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ"
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Naples Girls:
Meet next Thursday for Book Club
Tuesday, April 8, 2008
Praying in the Spirit
Chapter Four of Bryan Chapell's book "Praying Backwards" begins with a quote from C.S. Lewis's "The Magician's Nephew". In this part of the story Aslan, the lion, sends the two children on a mission and as they soon discover they have no food. Troubled, the children ask why didn't someone arrange for their meals? One of them answers "I'm sure Aslan would have, if you'd asked him." Then another child responds "Wouldn't he know without being asked?" The final thought is that they have no doubt that Aslon would know, but more importantly, he likes to be asked.
From this illustration, Mr. Chapell moves to reminds us that yes God is Sovereign and He knows our needs before we ask. But He delights in our asking. Yet the question that remains is, if God knows our needs before we ask, then is prayer a wasted effort?
How do we reconcile God's sovereignty in providing what is best and our petitions for what we believe to be best?
As Christians, we have prayer as a means to draw near God the Father and deepen our love and trust for Him. We have been looking at prayer as a way to discover God...glorify God. Prayer that is focused on God's work in us not so much as how we want Him to work for us.
But how can we pray confidently and purposefully as we draw near to God and seek His will for us? In Luke 11:11-13 Jesus speaks about the Father's ultimate goodness which is to give his children the Holy Spirit. We have been given a great gift...a good gift, in the sense that it is perfect and exactly what we need...the Holy Spirit.
"When we pray, Paul says, the Holy Spirit intercedes for us with groans that words can not express and in accordance with God's will. These two vital ministries of the Holy Spirit make our prayers the most powerful force on earth"
The Holy Spirit who groans for our new life:
Have you ever fervently prayed for someone? There are times when friends and loved ones will ask me to pray for them. They are facing a difficult time and need prayer support. I will pray for them fervently and expectantly, but I can not know for sure what is in God's mind for them through that particular situation. I have a limited view and limited energy. Yet, the Holy Spirit prays for us with "groans" and prays in accordance with the purposes of God because He knows God's mind. That is an astounding thought!
Mr. Chapell writes: "Paul writes that the Spirit also groans, interceding for the Lord's purposes in our lives. With more fervor than we can express and with the urgency of a mother in childbirth, the Spirit cries before the Throne of Grace, "Holy God, bless your people. God of creation, bend the world to your glorious purposes for those seeking you. Heavenly Father, work all things together for your children's good.
The Spirit cries with the agonies of one birthing new life, because new life is being formed---a new world order....The Spirit becomes Christ's instrument of intersession for us. He pleads for God to order the temporal world for our eternal good. " (emphasis mine)
Can you and I rest in the understanding that we have the Holy Spirit who intercedes for us with such intensity that His groans and petitions become an instrument God uses to bring good out of all situations?
Quoted in the book is beloved Pastor, James Montgomery Boice. Dr. Boice addressed his congregation almost 8 years ago to inform them that he was diagnosed with cancer. Mr. Chapell quotes a very poignant part of his last words to his church:
"When things like this come into our lives, they are not accidental. It's not as if God somehow forgot what was going on, and something bad slipped by...God does everything according to His will... But what I've been impressed with most is something in addition to that. It's possible, isn't it, to conceive of God as sovereign and yet indifferent? God's in charge, but He does not care. BUT it's not that. God is not only the one who is in charge, God is also good. Everything he does is good....If God does something in your life, would you change it? If you'd change, you'd make it worse. It would not be as good. " (emphasis mine)
It is hard for me to get my heart around that last sentence...even when I am in the midst of a difficult situation. Even when I am suffering or hurting...if I were to change any of it, I would make it worse. It would not be as good. God is good...therefore all He does is good...and the Holy Spirit prays in our behalf that we would see the goodness. Today, I pray you see God's goodness in the midst of your trial...His goodness through the birthing pains.
Friday, April 4, 2008
Confronting with love?
Yesterdays post on Pulpit Magazine was so powerful that I wanted to share it with you...
Have a great weekend!
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How do we know when to confront and when to quietly forgive and forget?
That’s a good question because most people seem to err on one side or the other. Some people think it is best to overlook every offense and take pride in their tolerance. However, Paul confronted the Corinthians for tolerating sin in the church and rebuked them for failing to deal with a man living in sin (1 Cor. 5).
On the other side of the issue are people who confront over any slight infraction and make themselves intolerable.
Are there any biblical principles to help us make the right choice? Yes! Here are six guidelines to help you know whether to quietly forgive or to lovingly confront.
1. Whenever possible, especially if the offense is petty or unintentional, it is best to forgive unilaterally. This is the very essence of a gracious spirit. It is the Christlike attitude called for in Ephesians 4:1-3. We are called to maintain a gracious tolerance (”forbearance”) of others’ faults. Believers should have a sort of mutual immunity to petty offenses. Love “is not easily angered” (1 Cor. 13:5). If every fault required formal confrontation, the whole of our church life would be spent confronting and resolving conflicts over petty annoyances. So for the sake of peace, to preserve the unity of the Spirit, we are to show tolerance whenever possible (see 1 Pet. 2:21-25; Mat. 5:39-40).
2. If you are the only injured party, even if the offense was public and flagrant, you may choose to forgive unilaterally. Examples of this abound in Scripture. Joseph (Genesis 37-50), David (2 Sam. 16:5-8), and Stephen (Acts 7:60) each demonstrated the unilateral forgiveness of Christ (Luke 23:34).
3. If you observe a serious offense that is a sin against someone other than you, confront the offender. Justice never permits a Christian to cover a sin against someone else. While we are entitled, and even encouraged, to overlook wrongs committed against us, Scripture everywhere forbids us to overlook wrongs committed against another (see Ex. 23:6; Deut. 16:20; Isa. 1:17; Isa. 59:15-16; Jer. 22:3; Lam. 3:35-36).
4. When ignoring an offense might hurt the offender, confront the guilty party. Sometimes choosing to overlook an offense might actually injure the offender (by allowing him to continue unwarned down a wrong path). In such cases it is our duty to confront in love (Gal. 6:1-2).
5. When a sin is scandalous or otherwise potentially damaging to the body of Christ, the guilty party should be confronted. Some sins have the potential to defile many people, and Scripture gives ample warning of such dangers (see Heb. 12:15; 3:13; 1 Cor. 5:1-5). In fact, Scripture calls for the church to discipline individuals who refuse to repent of open sin in the body, so that the purity of the body might be preserved (Matt. 18:15-20; 1 Cor. 5).
6. Lastly, any time an offense results in a broken relationship, confrontation of the sinner should occur. Any offense that causes a breach in relationships simply cannot be overlooked. Both the offense and the breach must be confronted, and reconciliation must be sought. And both the offended party and the offender have a responsibility to seek reconciliation (Luke 17:3; Matt. 5:23-24). There is never any excuse for a Christian on either side of a broken relationship to refuse to pursue reconciliation.
The only instance where such a conflict should remain unresolved is if all the steps of discipline in Matthew 18 have been exhausted and the guilty party still refuses to repent.
Thursday, April 3, 2008
A vision worth grasping
"My son do not despise the Lord's discipline
and do not resent His rebuke
because the Lord disciplines those He loves
as a father, the son He delights in"
Discipline is a central part of a Christian's life. We are called to "suffer with Christ". But Christians are partakers of a great exchange...the unrighteous for the righteous. This is something the world does not have. The world has the same suffering but it is without redemptive purpose...it is a consequence of sin. Sin is continually unwidding this earth. But for Christians, a sinner's life is exchanged for a godly life through the cross. I find myself constantly disciplining my mind to understand this great exchange...I have Christ and Christ took all of my sin and penalty. But there is still so much of the "old nature" in me that God must remove and that comes about through suffering, chastening and discipline. But in the midst of this, we have something greater than any "temporal suffering"... we have the promises of Christ to be fully grasped in eternity AND the joy of experiencing Him now presently. Jesus was just as committed to suffer in His Father's hands as He was to rejoice in His Father's hands. The hands that brought the suffering would also bring joy and relief.
Everyday for Christians should be a day that is eternally focused...I had a great pastor once tell me "every decision you make Janet, is either a temporal one or eternal. Choose the eternal"
I think about that often...being earthly bound but eternally focused. That perspective looks at everything from the High View of God. When we enjoy, meditate and move through life with that perspective we can move through the valley.
"Lord, high and holy, meek and lowly
Thou has brought me to the valley of vision,
I pray those of you who are in a valley to look up! Those who may be experiencing God's discipline or chastening to know it is because you are His! We all experince His chastening just as an earthly son experineces his father's discipline. Those who are suffering because of the sins of others, know the Lord Jesus suffered the same way...He will comfort you.
Wednesday, April 2, 2008
Spring Break
Spring Break for me always means the start of easier, sunnier times. The end of school is not to far from now. Today I am taking Hannah across the state to her "bestest" friend in the whole wide world where she will spend a couple of days. So I am off but leave you with...
Some of my families favorite snacks and recipes. The "Oyster Crackers" can keep in a sealed container for two weeks (if they last that long) and the "B-B-Q Rub" can be used not only on salmon but chicken and pork chops. Enjoy!
OYSTER CRACKERS
1 bag of "Oyster Biscuit crackers" (plain in a 12 or 16 oz. bag)
1 package of powdered Ranch Buttermilk dressing
1/4 tsp of lemon/pepper seasoning
1/2 tsp of dry dill
1/4 tsp of garlic powder
3/4 cup of canola oil
Mix ranch with oil in a bowl until mostly dissolve. Add rest of seasonings.
Empty cracker bag in an ungreased baking sheet pan
Pour oil and seasoning over them and toss them well. I get my "clean hands" in there.
Bake 300 for 15-20 minutes. Keep an eye on them after 15 minutes so they don't burn.
Cool and enjoy with the kids.
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B-B-Q Oven salmon
Combine in a small bowl:
2 tbs of dark brown sugar
4 tsp of chili powder
3/4 tsp of cumin
1/2 tsp of salt
1/4 tsp of cinnamon
Mix well and set aside. (This rub you can now make again and top chicken breast or pork chops before broiling)
For the salmon:
4 6 oz. salmon fillets
squeeze 1/2 lemon over them
Cover them with the rub. Pile it on because as it cooks it will form a sweet and spicy crust.
Bake salmon for 20-25 minutes at 400.
Enjoy.
Hope you try these this week. Let me know how you like them!
Tuesday, April 1, 2008
Spring Break
David got home from London on Sunday night. he is just here two days and then off again while the kids are home all week for Spring Break. So because we know times with the kids are precious and before we know it will be gone, I will be posting some of my favorite articles on Family this week. I love to share found treasures and also saves me a bit of time.
I start with one of my favorite Pastors John Piper and his wife. It's a family worship... Enjoy:
God-centered worship is supremely important in the life of our church. We approach the Sunday morning worship hour with great seriousness and earnestness and expectancy. We try to banish all that is flippant or trivial or chatty.
Not all services are this way. Sunday morning is the Mount of Transfiguration—the awesome place of glory and speechlessness. Sunday or Wednesday evening is the Mount of Olives—the familiar spot for conversation with the Lord and each other.
In this article, we hope to do two things:
1) demonstrate that parents (or some responsible adult) should bring little children to the Sunday morning worship service rather than send them to a "children's church";
2) give some practical advice about how to do it.
We don't claim that our way of worshiping is the only valid way. Not all our ideas may fit with the way another church does it.
For example, we don't have a children's sermon as part of our Sunday morning service. It would be fun for the children, but in the long run would weaken the spiritual intensity of our worship. To everything there is a season. And we believe that, for at least one hour a week, we should sustain a maximum intensity of moving reverence.
The Biggest Stumbling Block
There are several reasons why we urge parents to bring their children to worship. But these arguments will not carry much weight with parents who do not love to worship God.
The greatest stumbling block for children in worship is that their parents do not cherish the hour. Children can feel the difference between duty and delight. Therefore, the first and most important job of a parent is to fall in love with the worship of God. You can't impart what you don't possess.
Togetherness
Worshiping together counters the contemporary fragmentation of families. Hectic American life leaves little time for significant togetherness. It is hard to overestimate the good influence of families doing valuable things together week in and week out, year in and year out.
Worship is the most valuable thing a human can do. The cumulative effect of 650 worship services spent with Mom and Dad between the ages of 4 and 17 is incalculable.
Catch the Spirit
Parents have the responsibility to teach their children by their own example the meaning and value of worship. Therefore, parents should want their children with them in worship so the children can catch the spirit and form of their parents' worship.
Children should see how Mom and Dad bow their heads in earnest prayer during the prelude and other non-directed times. They should see how Mom and Dad sing praise to God with joy in their faces, and how they listen hungrily to His Word. They should catch the spirit of their parents meeting the living God.
Something seems wrong when parents want to take their children in the formative years and put them with other children and other adults to form their attitude and behavior in worship. Parents should be jealous to model for their children the tremendous value they put on reverence in the presence of Almighty God.
Not an Excessive Expectation
To sit still and be quiet for an hour or two on Sunday is not an excessive expectation for a healthy 6-year-old who has been taught to obey his parents. It requires a measure of discipline, but that is precisely what we want to encourage parents to impart to their children in the first five years.
Thus the desire to have children in the worship service is part of a broader concern that children be reared so that they are "submissive and respectful in every way" (1 Timothy 3:4).
Children can be taught in the first five years of life to obey their father and mother when they say, "Sit still and be quiet." Parents' helplessness to control their children should not be solved by alternative services but by a renewal of discipline in the home.
Not Everything Goes Over Their Heads
Children absorb a tremendous amount that is of value. And this is true even if they say they are bored.
Music and words become familiar. The message of the music starts to sink in. The form of the service comes to feel natural. The choir makes a special impression with a kind of music the children may hear at no other time. Even if most of the sermon goes over their heads, experience shows that children hear and remember remarkable things.
The content of the prayers and songs and sermon gives parents unparalleled opportunities to teach their children the great truths of our faith. If parents would only learn to query their children after the service and then explain things, the children's capacity to participate would soar.
Not everything children experience has to be put on their level in order to do them good. Some things must be. But not everything.
For example, to learn a new language you can go step by step from alphabet to vocabulary to grammar to syntax. Or you can take a course where you dive in over your head, and all you hear is the language you don't know. Most language teachers would agree that the latter is by far the most effective.
Sunday worship service is not useless to children just because much of it goes over their heads. They can and will grow into this new language faster than we think—if positive and happy attitudes are fostered by the parents.
A Sense of Awe
There is a sense of solemnity and awe which children should experience in the presence of God. This is not likely to happen in children's church. Is there such a thing as children's thunder or children's lightning or the crashing of the sea "for children"?
A deep sense of the unknown and the mysterious can rise in the soul of a sensitive child in solemn worship—if his parents are going hard after God themselves. A deep moving of the magnificence of God can come to the young, tender heart through certain moments of great hymns or "loud silence" or authoritative preaching. These are of immeasurable value in the cultivation of a heart that fears and loves God.
We do not believe that children who have been in children's church for several years between the ages of 6 and 12 will be more inclined or better trained to enjoy worship than if they had spent those years at the side of their parents. In fact, the opposite is probably the case.
It will probably be harder to acclimate a 10– or 12-year-old to a new worship service than a 5– or 6-year-old. The cement is much less wet, and vast possibilities of shaping the impulses of the heart are gone.
Some Practical Suggestions from Noel
When our four sons grew to be young men, we assumed that the worship-training chapter of our life had ended. But God has wonderful surprises. Our youngest son was 12 when we adopted our daughter, who was just a couple of months old. So our experience with young children in the pew started more than twenty years ago and will continue a while longer.
Getting Started Step by Step
We discovered that the very earliest "school" for worship is in the home—when we help a baby be quiet for just a moment while we ask God's blessing on our meal; when a toddler is sitting still to listen to a Bible story book; when a child is learning to pay attention to God's Word and to pray during family devotional times.
At church, even while our children were still nursery-aged, I began to help them take steps toward eventual regular attendance in Sunday morning worship service. I used other gatherings as a training ground—baptisms, choir concerts, missionary videos or other special events that would grab the attention of a 3-year-old. I'd "promote" these to the child as something exciting and grown-up. The occasional special attendance gradually developed into regular evening attendance, while at the same time we were beginning to attempt Sunday mornings more and more regularly.
I've chosen not to use the church's child care as an escape route when the service becomes long or the child gets restless. I don't want to communicate that you go to a service as long as it seems interesting, and then you can go play. And I wanted to avoid a pattern that might reinforce the idea that all of the service is good, up until the preaching of God's Word—then you can leave.
Of course, there are times when a child gets restless or noisy, despite a parent's best efforts. I pray for the understanding of the people around me, and try to deal with the problem unobtrusively. But if the child won't be quiet or still, I take him or her out—for the sake of quick discipline and for the sake of the other worshipers. Then I have to decide whether we'll slip back into service or stay in the area reserved for parents with young children. It depends on how responsive the child seems and whether there's an appropriate moment in the flow of the service. If we stay in the "family area" outside the sanctuary, I help my child sit quietly as if we were still in the sanctuary.
By the time they are four years old, our children assume that they'll be at all the regular weekly services with us.
Preparation All Week Long
Your anticipation and conversation before and after service and during the week will be important in helping your child learn to love worship and to behave well in service.
Help your children become acquainted with your pastor. Let them shake hands with him at the door and be greeted by him. Talk about who the worship leaders are; call them by name. Suggest that your child's Sunday School teacher invite the pastor to spend a few minutes with the children if your church's Sunday morning schedule allows for that.
If you know what the Scripture passage will be for the coming Sunday, read it together several times during the week. A little one's face really lights up when he hears familiar words from the pulpit.
Talk about what is "special" this week: a trumpet solo, a friend singing, a missionary speaker from a country you have been praying for.
Sometimes you can take the regular elements of the service and make them part of the anticipation. "We've been reading about Joseph. What do you think the pastor will say about him?" "What might the choir be singing this morning?" "Maybe we can sit next to our handicapped friend and help him with his hymnbook so he can worship better too."
There are two additional and important pre-service preparations for us: a pen and notepad for "Sunday notes" and a trip to the rest room (leaving the service is highly discouraged).
What Happens During Service?
First, I let a child who wants a worship folder have one—it helps a child feel like a participant in the service. And quietly, before service begins, I may point to the different parts of the service listed in the folder.
During service, we all sit or stand along with rest of the congregation. I share my Bible or hymnal or worship folder with my little one, because use of these is an important part of the service.
The beginning of the sermon is the signal for "notetaking" to begin. (I want a child's activities to be related to the service. So we don't bring library books to read. I do let a very young child look at pictures in his Bible, if he can do it quietly.) Notetaking doesn't mean just scribbling, but "taking notes" on a special pad used just for service.
"Taking notes" grows up as the child does. At first he draws pictures of what he hears in the sermon. Individual words or names trigger individual pictures. You might pick out a word that will be used frequently in the sermon; have the child listen carefully and make a check mark in his "notes" each time he hears the word.
Later he may want to copy letters or words from the Scripture passage for the morning. When spelling comes easier, he will write words and then phrases he hears in the sermon. Before you might expect it, he will probably be outlining the sermon and noting whole concepts.
Goals and Requirements
My training for worship has three main goals:
That children learn early and as well as they can to worship God heartily.
That parents be able to worship.
That families cause no distraction to the people around them.
So there are certain expectations that I teach the young ones and expect of the older ones:
Sit or stand or close eyes when the service calls for it.
Sit up straight and still—not lounging or fidgeting or crawling around, but respectful toward God and the worshipers around you.
Keep bulletin papers and Bible and hymnal pages as quiet as possible.
Stay awake. Taking notes helps. (I did allow the smallest ones to sleep, but they usually didn't need to!)
Look toward the worship leaders in the front. No people-gazing or clock-watching.
If you can read fast enough, sing along with the printed words. At least keep your eyes on the words and try to think them. If you can't read yet, listen very hard.
Creating an Environment in the Pew
For my part, I try to create an environment in our pew that makes worship easier. In past years, I would sit between whichever two were having the most trouble with each other that day. We choose seats where we can see the front better (while seated, not kneeling on the pew; kneeling leads to squirming and blocks the view of others).
Each child has a Bible, offering money and worship folder at hand, so he doesn't have to scramble and dig during the worship time. During the prelude, if I notice in the bulletin something unusual for which we need to be prepared (a responsive reading or congregational prayers, for example), I quietly point it out to a child who is old enough to participate.
Afterward
When the service has ended, my first words are praise to the child who has behaved well. In addition to the praise, I might also mention one or two things that we both hope will be better next time.
But what if there has been disregard of our established expectations and little attempt to behave? The first thing that happens following the service is a silent and immediate trip to the most private place we can find. Then the deserved words are spoken and consequences administered or promised.
Closeness and Warmth
On the rare occasions when my pastor-husband can sit with the rest of us, the youngest one climbs right into his lap—and is more attentive and still than usual. What a wonderful thing for a young mind to closely associate the closeness and warmth of a parent's lap with special God-times.
A child gets almost the same feeling from being next to his parent or from an arm around the shoulder or an affectionate hand on the knee.
The setting of the tight family circle focusing toward God will be a nonverbal picture growing richer and richer in the child's mind and heart as he matures in appreciation for his family and in awe at the greatness of God.
