SMILE IT IS FRIDAY!

As we began to look at the "Blessing of Having Children" here is something that will make you laugh because we can all hear ourselves in here somewhere!

Parenting does take some humor!
(Click twice on the arrow)

Thanks to Janet B. for sending it!

On a serious note: There has been lots of questions and discussion coming out of Tuesday Night's Girls Book Club on the subject of second marriages. It is important that when we look for answers we search the Scriptures and hear what God has to say. I am also gathering insight from very wise Pastors to also help us ...give me a few more days.

Wrap-up!

Last night we finished the second chapter of Carolyn's book "Feminine Appeal" We now move on to Chapter 3 "The Blessings of Loving my Children". And before we begin, Carolyn with her wonderful wisdom tells us

"Even if you don't have children, may I invite you to stick with me? The Biblical principles in this chapter will serve you in any relationship you have with children--from your nieces and nephews to the children of your friends. As you model the loving Godliness described here, you will win a special place in their hearts"

So may I invite those of you who don't have children to continue to learn with us. God can use this time as a special training for what may lie ahead. And as she said, if you don't have kids, these principle can enrich your relationship with any other child God brings into your life...maybe you can even share some of what you learn with a new Mom who would be blessed by your sharing.

Some of the topics we will discuss this next week:
Strength when we are tired, fear...indulgence, tender thoughts and finally our highest objective.

Let's start chapter 3 with great anticipation as we learn to make little disciples into young men and women who love and serve Him.
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For Naples Girls....Thanks for the great discussion last night. We will be meeting in one week (not two) to discuss chapter 3...hope to see you then!

Marriage a vocation?

I usually don't post on Tuesdays...but I was reading yesterday and knowing we were coming to the end of our discussion on "Loving our husbands" I thought I would write a final thought....(not that we by any means have finished figuring out how to delight in loving our husbands)

Have you ever thought marriage was your vocation? I know we hear "I am a full-time mom or homemaker etc"
Elizabeth Elliot in her book "Let me be a Woman" writes it better than I could...
"Marriage is a vocation. It is a task to which you are called. It is a task, it means you work at it (and may I add work HARD) It is not something which happens. You hear the call, you answer, you accept the task, you enter into it willingly and eagerly, you commit yourself to its disciplines and responsibilities and limitations and privileges and joys. You concentrate on it, giving yourself to it day after day in a lifelong Yes. Having said yes to the man who asked you to marry him you go on saying yes to marriage" italics mine.

We must remember that every task requires faith. God who has called us to this task will help us. He will not leave us but will grow our faith through marriage.
Romans tells us "The just shall live by faith" this has to be our banner...our cry.

The great promise from God comes to its fullest and most glorious realization as our marriages grow stronger, as we love deeper and give ourselves daily

"to HIM who is able to keep you from falling and to present you before His glorious presence without fault and with GREAT JOY" Jude 24-25

A Review

Yesterday at church, I was talking to a young woman who is preparing for marriage. She is glowing with anticipation. Her plans are very detailed and she has been able to secure the things she wanted to make her wedding day the greatest ever. I was chatting with her about her future husband's job...he is in a very demanding field which will require him to be away from her very often. She gave me a look of disappointment when she thought that he would have to be away from her as much as his job demanded.
I thought all of us have "known" something about our husbands prior to marriage that either we thought we could change or we would settle into the "fact" that this is the way it will be. Some of us, thought "I will change him" some of us in desperation say "He will never change!"
As I talked to her, I encouraged her to think that many people are very grateful for what her "future" husband does and as she releases him to do his job he will continue to be a source of hope for many. I told her many will be grateful to her for her sacrifice. Part of loving our husbands is giving them the room to fulfill their roles in their careers.

As we wrap up these two weeks, I need to ask...what are you still hoping to change about yourself...not your husband ...but you. Often it is easy to say...he has to change but the hard work and the most beneficial work comes as we change.

These past two weeks have you:
Had more tender thoughts about him?
Cherished his differences..his masculinity?
Purposed to spend more time with him?
Enjoyed his company? His interests?

These are all questions that provide a good measurement of how we are doing. But as we have learned we can go into auto pilot without giving much thought and emotion to the tasks. So here is where the Cross must enter...It is through the Cross that we can find joy and strength and peace. The Cross enters the moment we recognize marriage as a GIFT...we give thanks in the receiving this gift and we offer it back. We cherish it and we love him because he is the gift. God has hand-picked him for you! He has brought the two of you together for good...
Romans 8:28
"God works all things for good for those who love Him and are called according to His purpose"
Our marriages is one of those good things...may I say It is one of the best things.

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Just a reminder...
Naples Girls get together tomorrow night at my home.
7:00 p.m.
See you there and thanks for all your thoughts this week.

SMILE IT IS FRIDAY

We begin next week to read Chapter 3 "The blessings of loving my children". I thought this clip would get you thinking about that with a smile on your face. What a great "commission" it is to "make disciples" of our children. It will be a great new read. To view the video just click twice on the arrow on the screen.
Thanks Michele for sending it to me!


DON'T FORGET 'BOOK CLUB' GET TOGETHER AT MY HOUSE THIS TUESDAY NIGHT. We will finish up the discussion on husbands. Hope to see many of you here.
Have a blessed weekend!

Wednesday Chat...

Some of you were surprised that I posted on Tuesday but I woke up with so much in my head and heart I was impressed to write. David and I also received an e-mail from one of the men in our class on Sunday morning who is renewing his commitment to pray and study the Bible...I believe God answers our prayers and as wives we have a great privilege to bring our husbands to the throne of grace and intercede on their behalf.

1 Peter 3:1-2 says "Wives in the same way be submissive to your husbands so that if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives when they see the purity and reverence in your life."

In a few weeks we will look at the big "S" word and I think many of us will come to a new appreciation of it. But as I look and meditate on this verse, I also see that by "the purity and reverence " in our lives we can also "refresh" our husbands. By our behavior the word is lived out...and God uses it to their benefit. Our husbands need to SEE our changing lives before them...it is not just telling them what we are learning. And the reverence we have is first to God and then to them...Do you revere your husband? Do we even know what revering means?The Greek word for reverence is "Entrepo" it means literally "to feel respect or deference toward some else...to turn into oneself" First and foremost the Most High deserves all our reverence and then our husbands. It is through that reverence to God first and then our husbands that unbelievers will believe and believing husbands will be refreshed!

Today I really would like to know how you all are doing? Have you noticed a difference in your life since we started this journey? Are you loving your husband in a fresh new way? Are you being challenged by what you are reading? What continues to be a stumbling block? What can we praise God about today?

Don't be shy now...Give God the Glory!

God is in charge

On Sunday morning at church, we had a great discussion on the will of God. His sovereign will and His revealed will. His revealed will is clearly seen in the Scriptures...everything He has written is to reveal His mind, heart and desires for us. He tells us what we are to flee from and Whom we ought to run to. So we really are without excuse when we say..."I did not know that..."
On the other side, His sovereign will is secret and it is only revealed to us as it unfolds. David pointed out, we see His sovereign will in history. Even as close as yesterday, His sovereign will was revealed.
His sovereign will encompasses nations, kingdoms, rulers and then moves to groups of people and even to families and more intimatly to our own lives. He purposes the rise and fall of kingdoms, the election of Presidents and more intimately He has purposed and chose our husbands. That is why in the ceremony it says..."What God has joined together "
God has joined David and I...As He directs and creates nations, and rulers and kingdoms He intimately and tenderly weaves together a husband and a wife. How marvelous! How wonderful!

Have you ever thought of that...God's will for you is your marriage to your husband. So if you think "Maybe I made the wrong choice" or "What about________maybe he was the one I should have married" Let me lovingly and firmly tell you you are heading down a path that will lead you to sin. God is in your marriage and He has joined to two of you.
This marriage we are in, represents His union to His beloved Church and He will not forsake us to get another bride. His commitment to keep us through our stubbornness, our disobedience and our immaturity shows His faithfulness to us (the bride). And that is the same in our marriages. We are joined in marriage to the one God has purposed for us!

So today, can we all look at our husbands that way. Can we see our marriage through God's perspective? What could be a better help to us, than to see them as God sees them? Can we remember and trust God that what He has joined together, He will keep and use it to change us and then bring Glory to Himself.
May this be an encouragement to us all.

A man's Man

I hope very one is keeping up and reading chapter two in our book "Feminine Appeal" We have been challenged in our thinking to recognize that when we married, we married a sinner just like us.
I also want to challenge us to think that not only did we marry a sinner but we married a man...that might sound a bit obvious....but really think about it. He is a man and you are a woman and God made us both very different. It is not to unlikely to think that many women expect their husbands to be women...they expect them to think like a woman, respond like a woman even at times act like women. But instead, our husbands surprise us and act like men and that frustrates us sometimes.
Elizabeth Elliot writes about such situations:
"But somehow marriage has also insinuated into their cozy lives this unpredictable, unruly creature called man. He is likely to be bigger and louder and tougher and hungrier and dirtier than a woman expects...Anything he does which seems to be inexplicable or indefensible to her she dismisses with "Just like a man!" as though this were a condemnation or at best an excuse instead of a very good reason for thanking God"

There are times we are frustrated and get angry by this inability to not understand each other. But we must not only recognize our differences but also be grateful and enjoy them. Sometimes we must just accept their differences and say "Viva Le Difference!" as they do in France. Like a good mystery their masculinity should captivate us...we should appreciate that they stand firm when we crumble, that their steadfastness balances our impulsiveness or which ever way his actions and emotions balance ours.

They also have an independence from us. They are not meant to fulfill all our desires. Only God through the Lord Jesus can achieve that. When God said to Abraham "Walk before me and be perfect" He did not say "Walk before Sarah and be perfect" His perfection comes through Christ and it is God alone who does that as he has created him. Ultimately he is God's man...we are his helper and, on this journey, we are to appreciate his "manliness" for it should beautifully complement our "womanliness"

Smile it is Friday...

This is our natural response...but this week we have been reading how we can we can change that. Carolyn writes on page 40
"We frequently face situations where we are tempted to think harsh and critical thoughts. Sometimes as wives we are more inclined to concentrate on what our husbands are doing wrong than in what they are doing right. We are more aware of their deficiencies, than areas where they excel. But if we submit to these temptations, they will only lead to the demise of warm affection...Rather we must choose to focus on our husband's many commendable qualities. As we do this we will be amazed. We will start to discover more and more good qualities that we were failing to see because we were blinded by our critical thoughts."

Think about it...we know that all our emotions and actions start between our ears. Our minds can dwell on criticism. James tells us out of the mouth come praise and cursing. That implies we can choose to focus only on praise. Let's try this weekend to commend our husbands...to praise them. Look for their good qualities and bring them out...Speak words of encouragement. Let me now how you did...Have a great weekend.

Just to spice things up I included a yummy BBQ rub that you can put together this weekend and use on Salmon or chicken. Look on the right side post.

The delight of loving your husband

Last night the discussion centered around two major thoughts:
First, The Bible uses just one word to describe many different kinds of love...in particular we looked at the love between a husband and a wife. We are called to love our husbands with a (phileo )love that is passionate and physical. Our husbands are called to love us with a sacrificial love (agapeo). Isn't it amazing that we each are called to love in a way that is not the most "natural" to us? As women we may not be as strong in showing a passionate, affectionate love. And by the same breath, men are exhorted to love sacrificially which is often not the easiest for them. However, we must believe that if God calls us to love this way it is attainable through His power and grace.
If your marriage is difficult, we as Christian wives must look to the one who created marriage and purposed "YOUR" marriage. The Sovereign God joined you two and He has His seal on the union. If you are in a trying situation, "cast your cares upon Him". His shoulders are wide and His arms are strong. He is our burden carrier, "The Man of Sorrows"...He hears every word, He sees every tear. He will help you!
Carolyn makes this statement:
"Loving our husbands with a tender and passionate love is not something that happens automatically...Ever since Adam and Eve took the fatal bite of forbidden fruit our natural human inclination has shifted toward sin. Therefore, we are not naturally prone to love. We are not naturally inclined to be passionate and respectful to our husbands....but we must learn how to adopt this kind of love...Loving our husbands is a learned response through the grace of God. The good news is that God is eager to teach us this love"

Second: We discussed the trouble with Christian marriage today is that so much of the world's thinking has crept inside our views and thoughts of what marriage is.
We hear, a marriage is a partnership..."I do 50% and he does 50%. "
Or we hear "He is just not satisfying my needs"
"I am just not getting anything out of this relationship"
The focus is always self-centered and fleshly. So the problem begins in our minds...in how we think this marriage ought to look like, and feel like and breathe like. But we are getting our view and perspective from the wrong source. We must get that out and begin to see marriage as God sees it. Each one responsible for 100% no matter what the other does. And can I say we have 100% of God also commited to our marriages!

We also discussed romance...for us women in begins in our minds. How we must start LOOKING at our husbands and remembering who it was that we fell in love with. Those qualities and those features are still there but they to have been weighted down and often buried deep because of their responsibility to provide for a wife, children, mortgages, employees...etc. The weight of life has put much on our husbands...we must lovingly and gently draw those first-time qualities out.

Elizabeth Elliot has a wonderful phrase: "The fact that I am a woman does not make me a different kind of Christian, BUT the fact that I am Christian makes me a different kind of woman"
We are Christian women who know the creator of marriage. We know that His ways are not our ways. We know that He began marriage as He saw that is was not good for Adam to be alone. As all creation was "good" and declared "good" The Almighty saw something missing and called it "not good" From there He created woman to be Adam's helper. What a great privilege it is to be a helper...to assist...to

Just another word on this posting comment business...It seems it is difficult to do this and I am working on it. If you would like to leave a thought or comment, try the envelope link at the end of the post or e-mail me at Girlschat@gmail.com . Thanks!

Love that endures

This week we start chapter 2 in our book. This chapter is so rich and full of great Biblical insight that it ought to change our minds and then our actions toward our husbands. Some key thoughts to point out:
1--The difference in the call for women to "phileo" love and men to "agapeo" love.
2--She makes a note that we must LEARN to adopt this kind of love (a tender and passionate love)
3--God is using our marriage to grow us in Godliness. As a matter of fact, can I say that one of His greatest tools for our sanctification is our spouse!
4-Finally if we are at a point that we want to give up...remember God does not make mistakes. We do! So to make things "right" we must look at ourselves. What did we bring into the marriage that we should have left back in singleness? Did we come into marriage thinking I can change him? I love what Elizabeth Elliot says about marriage. We did not marry a knight in shinning armor..."No he is a sinner...just like you"

In Elizabeth Elliot's book "Let me be a Woman" she writes a series of letters to her only daughter ... she writes:

"Marriage is a choice above all others...You marry this person.

He may be the person who was, ten years ago, the "Big Man of Campus".

You were attracted to him because he was a football star, president of the student body, (smart, articulate or even lavished you with attention). But life settled down to the humdrum. Marriage is no house party. ...

This man who once was a spellbinding orator or a great half-back... somehow does not seem terribly significant anymore. But you ought to, now and then, remember who he was... ask yourself what it was that caught your eye. "Come now," you will say to yourself, "I did not marry him because he was a great halfback, did I?" No, you married this person. Whatever the inner qualities were there that enabled him to be attractive to you, they are still a part of this person that you go to bed with and eat breakfast with and wrestle over budgets. He is the person with the same potentials ... Your responsibility now, is to appreciate genuinenly and deeply who he is. You are to support and encourage and draw out of him those qualities that you originally saw and admired."

That is how Phileo love can return to our marriages...think back, remember and look at him now with that same tender passionate love you had at the beginning.

See you tomorrow at 7!

SMILE IT IS FRIDAY!

Here are a couple more of the "Baby Blues" comics for Friday...hope they bring a smile to your weekend!

Remember start reading chapter two on "Loving our Husbands" and we maybe we can talk a bit more next week...
Naples Girls see you on Tuesday at my house

She laughs at the days to come...

My Mother-in-Law used to collect "Baby Blues" for me...I so enjoyed them. A few days ago I ran into this one and thought it was so appropiate....
If you are not there yet, you will be and if you are there, you are in good company! Enjoy!

Women of Promise

Reading this week and meditating on the challenges before us, I can't help but think that it truly is a High Calling God has placed on us! And it is easy to stay in the "I just can't do it" mode. I don't know if you have struggled with that these past two weeks. So I want us to think about something..."He who is in you is greater than he who is in the world" 1 John 4:4. So as we have looked at how we represent the good news of the Gospel and as we asked our husbands what traits they want to see more in us, it is easy to feel inadequate. But take care that you don't forget with Christ all things are possible!
The women in Scripture are shown to us in all their frailty, sinfulness, fear, and disobedience. Yet God fulfilled His purpose for them...they obeyed Him and their lives where transformed and many around them were blessed.
From Dr. Barnett's book "The Joy of a word-filled family" he talks about women in Scripture who were not women of hope. Women with a mark against them, yet God lifted each one up as an example of fathomless Grace. He explains:
"No pain is too great to be healed.
No past is too bad to be forgiven.
No problem is too big to be solved through Christ.
No stain is too deep to be cleansed through Christ's blood and no task is too great for God's enablement"

Can I encourage you to remember you are a Woman of Promise...and He will finish the task He not only began in you but also has given you to do!
Don't grow weary, we are just beginning and the journey is joy-filled as we look for Him to stregthen and direct every step.

This weekend, we will start chapter two on "Loving our Husbands". Let me know your thoughts.

Ride on!

This past week we looked at several points Carolyn Mahaney makes in her book.
First: Mentoring is a Biblical mandate. (Both to mentor and to be mentored). Does anyone have a mentoring "memory" of how someone helped you?
Second: We have the potential to discredit or commend the Gospel to others. She asked us to think of those in our lives who maybe watching. How did we do last week?
Third: Those who were there on Tuesday were given the assignment to ask their husbands in which of the seven virtues (loving our husbands and children, self-control, purity, working at home, kindness and submission) would they like to see us grow more. How is that going?

Always beginning to change takes courage, humility and perseverance. Change often does not come quickly, but in baby steps. Each step leading closer and closer to maturity. Think of that and don't get discouraged. Every little baby step moves us further on.

When Jessica was about 7 David was teaching her how to ride a bike. He worked with her all day long. There were a few falls but David was right there to catch her and she never bruised. She was confident and at the end of the day she was so eager to show me what she could do. David and I were on our way out for our "date night" but she was insistent to show me. She took off down the street and I noticed she kept going right off the sidewalk into a gravel pit, up the gravel mound and then came tumbling down. We ran to her and when I reached her she said, in the most dramatic way "This had to happen on the greatest day of my life!"
You see in her little mind it was the greatest day..she had learned to ride a bike on her own. And then came a fall...But that did not stop her the next day from getting back on it! Sometimes we have the greatest days only to end them with a fall. But God promises to give us fresh and abundant grace for tomorrow and it is sufficient. If we "fall" He is there to get us back up and ride!

A reminder "Naples Girls" will meet next Tuesday...