Hindrances to kindness

Anger and bitterness are not the only two hindrances to kindness. Carolyn points out that judging is also lurking in our heart. She uses Ken Sande's definition of judging as "looking for other's faults and ,without valid or sufficient reason, forming unfavorable opinions of their qualities, words, actions or motives...in simple terms it means looking for the worst in others"
We must recognize that whom we judge the most severe, are those who are closest to us. Scripture tells us in John 7:24 "Do not judge by appearance but judge with right judgment"
When we sinfully judge our husband and children, we prevent seeking their happiness. When we wrongfully judge and persistently look for faults in our loved ones, we are sinning. As with every other sin, we must confess, repent and live in the forgiveness God extends to us.
But we must also seek the Holy Spirit's help in order that we make sure we think the most loving and kind thoughts.
Carolyn does point out that exercising loving judgement DOES NOT mean that we ignore sin in the lives of family members. " It means that we are not to presume that they are sinning, unless there is solid evidence. If there are clear indications that a family member is sinning in a manner to serious to overlook, we must humbly approach the person and ASK if we perceive the situation accurately. We should never assume...if correction is necessary we should bring it with all humility and kindness."
As we have looked at the three hindrances to kindness: Anger, bitterness and judging, have you seen yourself in any of these? I have. May I say that anger has often lead to bitterness and judgement! I have recognized that apart from God's Grace, I am doomed. But it is only as I reflect on His kindness towards me, can I extend that to my family. If you find yourself in a mental battle with anger, bitterness and judgement, could I suggest you take your "thoughts captive to the authority of Christ" 2 Cor. 10:5
Turn towards Him in prayer. Devote yourself to pursuing the best thoughts about people, especially those you love. Seek grace..."The prayer of a righteous man (woman) is powerful and effective" James 5:16 parenthesis mine.
It is only as we turn those sinful thoughts over to Christ can He begin to change us. We have an advocate who can transform us and make us more and more like Him.