A united front

Raising Godly children is God's priority for the family. In Genesis, when we read the account of the first marriage "God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created them. And God blessed them and God said unto them, Be fruitful and multiply and replenish the earth" Gen 1:27-28.
It goes without saying that if our highest duty as parents is to raise disciples of Christ, we must ourselves be one. As disciples of Christ, He has given us clear instruction on how to raise up our children. A home must become a path to heaven. It is sad to say that often a home does not become a path to heaven but to hell. Sin has done this, but what sin has destroyed grace can restore.
To begin to set up this "Heaven-ward Home" we have to look at ourselves as one united with our husbands for this task. ""For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife and they will become one flesh" Gen 2:24-25.
As a husband and wife, you are one. You move as one, think as one and act like one!
Yvette asked the question:
How do you explain to your spouse that both parents are equally important in raising the children?
How do you explain to your spouse that consistency is important, and that it is crucial that both parents are on the same page?
These questions bring to the forefront how important it is for moms and dads to present a united front. How do you achieve this? How do our children know when mommy speaks daddy speaks the same? Let me encourage you with a couple of suggestions:


1-In Gen. Chapter 4 we are shown the first family on earth in its full ugliness. We have Cain and Able, the first brothers and there is jealousy and selfishness already taking root. God in His mercy towards us shows us it is the fullness of their sin that lead to murder. But before we see the murder of Abel, we see a quote placed there for us as parents. It is a warning... It says "Then the Lord said to Cain 'Why are you angry? Why is your face downcast? If you do what is right will you not be accepted? But if you do not do what is right, sin is crouching at your door, it desires to have you but you must master it'" Gen. 4:6-7 As moms, many of us have insight into what "sin is crouching" at our child's door. We "see" their selfishness or anger or rebellion and we know it is crouching at the door desiring to have our children. If this is your insight today, go to your husband and let him know. Devise a system. TOGETHER that will help your child overcome this sin. So the first step in formatting a plan to discipline your child is be "pro-active" We need to see our children's weaknesses and then come up with a plan with our husbands on how to draw out the sin and replace it with Godly behavior.

2-As you sit with your husband and discuss a plan for discipline, encourage him to lead you in what actions to take. Don't usurp his authority here. Let him lead. As David says so often, it is not that men are not the leaders of the home is that we don't let them lead! So listen, provide insight into the sins and weaknesses of your children, but allow your husband to lead in the decision of what form of discipline. Now, that is not to say we can't express what we think, but submit to the final decision he makes.

3-Once you have expressed your concerns, your insights and suggestions for discipline...STICK TO IT! One of the greatest harms we do to our kids is set up walls for their protection and then we move them around. This just causes more confusion and begins to discredit God's own authority over them. God does not change His mind about His commands... He is steadfast, and constant. We know when we have disobeyed because we know the commands so well.

4-Let me just finish by saying, once you have a plan act on it quickly. Often we know what we have to do, but we don't like doing it. Discipline is hard work, it is constant work and if we chose not to do it we WILL pay the consequeces later. Kids need boundaries, they need to know if you say it once you will follow through.
If your child learns that she only needs to obey after the fifth warning, then the first four warnings will become routine verbiage that hold no significant meaning to her. In other words, why should she obey any of them when there are no consequences?
Another related example is the use of a raised voice. If we correct a child in a normal voice and she doesn't obey, the natural tendency is to raise our voice. When she doesn't obey a raised voice, that makes us even madder, and so we raise it even more...then more...then pretty soon we're yelling. If we don't discipline until we reach the yelling stage, then our child will learn that she doesn't need to obey until Dad or Mom starts yelling.
So what's the answer? You should give the same number of warnings as the number of times you want your children to consistently disobey. If you consistently discipline after one warning, your child will adjust her obedience accordingly. If you consistently discipline after ten warnings, that will become the standard.
I'm sure a lot of other factors come into play such as the age of the child, the environment (Are you at a funeral, or a children's party?), the seriousness of the offense, and the black-and-white nature of the disobedience, but generally speaking we should't give more than one warning, and sometimes none at all if the patern for discipline has been established.

5- Last thing is communication: We need to be sure when we communicate to our kids the language is clear. For instance, saying, "Pick up your doll, your blanket, and your pillow," is clearer than saying, "Pick up your room." "Come touch my hand," is clearer than saying, "Come here".
Our roles as moms comes with great joy and responsibility. I hope this helps to remind us all, what a great priviledge and task it is to raise Godly children. But remember, the blessing is immesurable.
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