Further clarification...

I received this e-mail from a wonderful friend and I thought our conversation might add additional light to yesterday's post...

"But if the unbelieving partner separates, let it be so. In such cases the brother or sister is not enslaved. God has called you to peace. For how do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife? "

Hey my precious friend,

I hope you are feeling better. I so appreciate your posting yesterday and there still remains some confusion out there on whether the believing spouse who has been abandoned can initiate the divorce. I have heard Christian counselors justify "the unbelieving spouse's departure", not forcing divorce, but separation (sometimes for years because they don't want to be married and don't want to be financially responsible either) is grounds for the believing wife to initiate divorce. I personally in my S.S. class years ago had this situation happen twice. One husband just disappeared for years. She was finally encouraged by her Christian counselor to divorce. Another situation the departing husband had an affair and after years of his departure and she was encouraged by her lawyer to divorce and she felt she had biblical grounds, from the adultery not necessarily the abandonment.
Kim

-------------

Hi Kim...

This is hard stuff but I think Biblically speaking is never right to initiate divorce unless there has been marital infidelity. I think that because of the covenant relationship , whether one is wayward and rebellious, who is to say that the wayward spouse is beyond reconciliation? I believe here, it becomes a matter of conscience and heart search. It is hard to say when a relationship is beyond God's intervention. I look at my own life...how rebellious and wayward was I towards Him? Many would have given up on me but He never did.
Again, I think while the spouse is still unmarried and alive, reconciliation is still Biblically possible. As I have heard it said "It is hard to now when to condone a step that decisively cuts "asunder" what God meant to be permanent and still can be made permanent (1 Corinthians 7:10-11). "
That being said, there are some who do permit abandonment as a reason for divorce. Many believe that 1 Corinthians 7:15 ("If the unbelieving partner desires to separate, let it be so, in such a case the brother or sister is not bound.") gives freedom to a Christian to remarry if abandoned. Also, denying remarriage can put a strain on the chastity of the divorced person who may not believe he or she has the gift of celibacy ( Matthew 19, 1 Corinthians 7:7).
Many sound Biblical churches believe divorce may be permitted when a spouse deserts the relationship, commits adultery, or is dangerously abusive (1 Cor. 7:15; Matthew 19:9; 1 Cor. 7:11).
I think we have to go back to what Jesus says why Moses granted divorce... "the hardness of heart" (Matthew 19:8; Mark 10:5). So, as we seek Biblical counseling there is room to move about...always checking our conscience and motive. If a spouse has done all he or she can do to be reconciled and has prayed much and even struggled with this hard decision and God gives release...then I think it is OK. So I don't know if I answered your question or not...I think divorce should always be the last resource.
Our response should always be gracious and loving. God has forgiven us all much...I remember that "God hates Divorce" (Mal. 2:16 )but He does not hate the divorcee.